I Need Some Serious Help
Dear Joe College,
I'm entering my junior year in college this year. All of my relationships have been failures. I don't understand why I can't find a guy that is going to treat me the way I want, and need, to be treated. I think if I have any more failed relationships, I might give up on guys all together. I don't want to think all guys are jerks, but sometimes I wonder. I think it'd be unfair to say that though....you know? I've often wondered if it's my appearance, but I don't think that's it. I'm fairly intelligent, I have things going for me, I have goals for my life...what's wrong with me? Joe, I need some serious help. What should I do?
By the way, are you available next weekend? You seem like someone I could get along with quite well...
Relationship-less in AL
First of all, are you hot? Cause my advice is WAY different if youâ€™re hot. But since most people reading this are somewhere around average (thatâ€™s why they call it average) let me try to hit a middle ground with my advice. A wise man once said that all guys are dumb and all girls are crazy. It is very true â€“ and amplified in college. Hereâ€™s the perfect example - youâ€™re just crazy enough to hit on me, and Iâ€™m just dumb enough not to ask for your number.
But letâ€™s get to the root of your question. OF COURSE your relationships have failed. When you date someone, you either marry them, break up, or have a tawdry affair that lasts until one of you dies or lapses into a coma. So if you think youâ€™re entitled to find your husband when youâ€™re 20, well, thatâ€™s nuts.
Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, â€œGood freakinâ€™ luck there, missy.â€
Got a question about an aspect of college life? Want to be made fun of? Then this is the place for you! Send all your college-related questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Joe College may or may not be written by Steve Hofstetter.