Head to Head

A friend of mine challeneged me to go head to head with him on 25 cent wing wednesdays at a bar near the Maryland Campus. Hes been known for eating 4 meals and a whole pie at Bob Evans. What steps should I take to make sure I come out victorious?

Not Yet a Mammoth in Maryland

Dear Smaller Than Mammoth-

This is a difficult task, indeed. Here are some steps you must follow in order to defeat your competition.

1) Learn how to spell “challenged.” While the word appreciates your charity, it already owns enough e’s.
2) Overcome your fear of the apostrophe.
3) Give up. You’re never going to beat this guy. This was a stupid bet. He’s obviously very, very talented and fat.

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, “ppppllllbbbbttttt.”

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