Hot Tub Full of Half Naked People

Dear Joe College,

Ok, so this isn't really so much a question as it is a warning and a request for personal assurance... One of my friend's sorority sisters was kind enough to spread her STD to an entire hot tub full of half naked people at a party, including my friend. No one even knew what it was until they went to the On-campus clinic and they'd say "I was in a hot tub..." No questions asked, they were given medicine to clear it right up.

So my question is, How can we ever feel safe promenading half-naked into hot tubs with random people ever again?? If this happened once, it can most definitely happen again. And maybe next time to me, or even to YOU! Is there any sure way to guarantee that we can avoid this?

Avoiding Hot Tubs,
Heather

My Dearest Heather,

So what kind of STD are we talking about here? Last I heard, most STD’s couldn’t travel in a hot tub, unless there was some other stuff traveling around, if you know what I mean. And I you do, because your friend’s sorority sister is obviously you! You thought you’d disguise yourself by saying you didn’t have a question and then asking a question anyway, but I am on to you! Like everyone else in that hot tub.

So your question is, “how can I be a cheap slut and not suffer the consequences?” And my answer is, you can’t! But don’t let that stop you from being a cheap slut. If cheap slutting is your thing, you go to it, you cheap slut, you.

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, “can I get some of that medicine when you’re done?”

Got a question about an aspect of college life? Want to be made fun of? Then this is the place for you! Send all your college-related questions to [email protected].

Joe College may or may not be written by Steve Hofstetter.