I have already made my thoughts on your act known and will work to my last breath to ensure that you do not sully the good name of the University of Connecticut by performing in Storrs. With several hundred cows on campus, there is enough manure at UConn without you adding to it.
Or, perhaps, you will be too busy looking at internet porn to do anything.
See you in Storrs,
Editor's Note: On January 25th, 2007 Steve Hofstetter performed at UConn. He set a record for attendance at UConn's comedy series at over 400, and the Daily Campus gave the show a glowing review. In other words, neener neener neener.