Steve, you are a witless jackass, and you're not a college student anymore, so give it up.
Damn. And here I've been trying to convince people I am a college student. Wait, no. I've just been performing at colleges because that's my job, and you seem to be so stupid that you think all comedians that perform at colleges must still be in college. I must have mixed that up because I'm such a witless jackass.
Good thing I still have this sarcasm to fall back on,