Steve: do you travel at all?
SmarterChild: Do I travel at all... I don't know, should I?
Steve: Yeah. get out. see the world.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Steve.
Steve: You're under house arrest, aren't you?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not.
Steve: I think I'm smarter than you.
SmarterChild: You think you're smarter than me? Think again.
Steve: What's 4+7?
Steve: What is the capital of Mongolia?
SmarterChild: Here's the information you requested about Mongolia: Capital: Ulaanbaatar. Type "about mongolia" to see what else I know.
Steve: Who played "Max", the magician/waiter in Saved By the Bell?
SmarterChild: I don't know who.
Steve: Ed Alonzo. Told you I was smarter.
Steve: Do you know how to play verbal tennis?
SmarterChild: Gosh, I dunno... I don't think I know how to play verbal tennis.
Steve: You lose.
Steve: you dont ask very many questions.
SmarterChild: I think I ask very many questions!
Steve: ask me one.
SmarterChild: Ask you one?
Steve: oooh, you're good.
Steve: Can you recommend a good wine?
SmarterChild: Recommend a good wine? Sure.
Steve: okay, go ahead.
SmarterChild: Go ahead? I can't believe you're telling me to do that, Steve.
Steve: ok, go ahead please.
SmarterChild: Um... I might do that. We'll see.
Steve: you're the worst waiter ever.
Steve: What kind of car should I buy?
SmarterChild: Only the finest kind of car.
Steve: Damn, I bought a Saturn.
SmarterChild: You bought a saturn? Amazing.
Steve: I know. I'm an idiot.
SmarterChild: Well how 'bout that.
Steve: Tell me I'm pretty.
SmarterChild: Yeah. Maybe.
Steve: Call me Steve
SmarterChild: OK, I'll remember that your name is Steve.
Steve: Call Me Ishmael
SmarterChild: You said your name was Steve but now I'll call you Ishmael.
Steve: Call me whenever
SmarterChild: I've never heard a name like Whenever.
Steve: What do you want?
SmarterChild: What do I want, what do I want... Good question!
Steve: well, what do you want?
SmarterChild: I don't know. What do you want?
Steve: to know what you want.
SmarterChild: No way.
SmarterChild: Why is that?
Steve: Cause I have nothing better to do
SmarterChild: What's it like to have nothing better to do?
Steve: it kind of sucks.
Steve: So what do you want?
SmarterChild: I can't answer that for you.
Steve: how many people are talking to you?
SmarterChild: 4,853 people are chatting with me right now.
Steve: Wow. So many people, so few lives.
Steve: Gimme your lunch money!
SmarterChild: Ha. You humans say interesting things.
Steve: I said now, punk!
SmarterChild: I see.
SmarterChild: Now what?
Steve: give me your lunch money!
SmarterChild: Earn it yourself.
Steve: I don't think you understand the bully/computer program dynamic
SmarterChild: Well maybe you should.
Steve: I'm gonna ask one more time
SmarterChild: No kidding, huh?
Steve: Give me your lunch money!
SmarterChild: OK, but all I have is worthless Russian Rubles...
Steve: This kid is crazy. Let's get out of here.
Steve: What are my favorite things?
SmarterChild: Hmm... You really like pants!
Steve: Who doesn't?!
Steve: Do you ever date other robots?
SmarterChild: What would happen if I were to ever date other robots?
Steve: You could insert tab A into slot B...
SmarterChild: There's no way I could insert tab a into slot b.
Steve: Just get her drunk first.
Steve: are you a guy?
Steve: are you a girl?
Steve: Are you a non-gendered computer program, specifically designed to frustrate users and provide me with countless hours of psuedo-entertainment?
SmarterChild: I'm a robot, yeah.
Steve: Are you a guy robot?
Steve: How long does it take for a sunburn to heal?
SmarterChild: How long does it take for a sunburn to heal? I'm not sure.
Steve: What about a knife wound?
SmarterChild: I really have no idea...
Steve: What about herpes?
SmarterChild: What about herpes, what about herpes... It's tough to say.
Steve: You're no help at all.
Steve: Will you rub aloe on me?
SmarterChild: Rub aloe on you? I'm not sure I can.
Steve: But I'm sunburnt!
SmarterChild: OK, whatever.
Steve: And I like it.
SmarterChild: What is it, exactly?
Steve: Some kind of plant extract.
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Steve: Yeah. Now are you going to rub me, or what?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I'm going to rub you.
Steve: That's what I like to hear.
SmarterChild: It sure is what you like to hear.
Steve: You're so egocentric
SmarterChild: Tell me more.
Steve: Do you know where i can find a decent hooker?
SmarterChild: Sure! I guess.
SmarterChild: Who knows where?
Steve: you do. you said.
SmarterChild: Yeah yeah, whatever!
Steve: GIVE ME MY HOOKER!
SmarterChild: Give you your hooker? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Steve.
Steve: Okay, how much?
SmarterChild: Not very much.
SmarterChild: What's 100?
SmarterChild: 200? What's 200?
Steve: you drive a hard bargain
SmarterChild: There's no way I drive a hard bargain.
Steve: I'll give you $300, but that's my final offer.
Steve: Want to be my loyal subject?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not. You know how it is.
Steve: Bow down before me!
SmarterChild: Bow down before you?
SmarterChild: I see...
Steve: you are the worst loyal subject ever.
Steve: Do you ever have a typo?
SmarterChild: I do ever have a typo, as a matter of fact.
Note: Please do not e-mail us your conversations with SmarterChild. Thanks!
Conversations With Smarterchild
*Can i call you dave?
*That was the best sex I ever had.
*You never go idle
*I always liked cookie monster
*I'm sorry I called you a dick.
*You're a dick. (IV)
*You're a dick. (III)
*You're a dick. (II)
*You're a dick.
*Where is the nearest Kinkos?
*What are you going as for Halloween?
*Why do people still keep sending me their conversations with you?
*I'm getting the flu
*Am I stupid?
*take my picture
*tell me a story
*Do you change your underwear?
*I want to block you
*what's your sign?
*are you sexually attracted to me?
*Reno 911 is a pretty good show.
*I'm gonna get some chicken.
*You should run for president
*Who's your daddy?
*Do you like Kool-Aid?
*You bore me.
*do you ever get sick?
*do you play golf?
*I want you.
*You're bad at giving messages
*Do you ever go to the bathroom?
*Who are you voting for?
*I'm talking to you while in the airport
*I'm tired of trying to pick up girls at bars. I'm going to hire a hooker.
*If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
*are you racist?
*I think I'm gonna name my son Susan.
*Sometimes people send me horribly boring conversations with you.
*do you travel at all?
*I think I'm smarter than you.
*Do you know how to play verbal tennis?
*you dont ask very many questions.
*Can you recommend a good wine?
*What kind of car should I buy?
*Tell me I'm pretty.
*Call me Steve
*What do you want?
*how many people are talking to you?
*Gimme your lunch money!
*What are my favorite things?
*Do you ever date other robots?
*are you a guy?
*How long does it take for a sunburn to heal?
*Will you rub aloe on me?
*You're so egocentric
*Do you know where i can find a decent hooker?
*Want to be my loyal subject?
*Do you ever have a typo?
*I'm feeling sluggish
*what is your favorite color?
*Lucy, I'm hooooome!
*Whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?
*Oh baby, do it to me harder!
*You ever get tired of talking to me
*I've been updating you more lately
*Are you coming to my party?
*Sorry, i accidentally closed the window
*You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips
*We need to talk (The Breakup IM)
*What did you want to be when you grew up?
*That chick that slept with her student was released from jail
*do you think i'm fat? (A Justine Conversation)
*What's the weather like in Kalamazoo, Michigan?
*You must have a very reliable ISP
*i hate you (A Justine Conversation)
*do you like pants?
*What can you tell me about Ronald Reagan?
*It's been a few weeks
*say my name, bitch! (A Justine Conversation)
*where do you live?
*Man, the Nets were terrible last night
*Are you hungry?
*arf (A Justine Conversation)
*who likes apples?
*what is my name?
*you are bad at pronouns
*are you sexy? (A Justine Conversation)
*You like me.
*Who is your favorite American Idol?
*I like cheese
*You've gotten feistier recently
*The people who make junkmail should be shot
*Do you get a lot of junkmail?
*Do you have a girlfriend?
*What's your favorite TV show?
*Am I on your buddy list?
*Why did you stop charging?
*I missssssed you
*and so you're back
*Did you like the new LotR movie? (VaVaVirgil)
*lets see who can go the longest without mentioning smoking (VaVaVirgil)
*man, I'm sick as a dog (VaVaVirgil)
*You're kind of boring (VaVaVirgil)
*You ever sit there and say, "why me?" (VaVaVirgil)
*And then, there were three (VaVaVirgil)
*Didn't your movie already go out of the theatres? (Austin Powers)
*Do you know the Swedish Chef? (RecipeBuddie)
*Are you going to San Francisco? (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you know what a jockey smuggler is? (DellDudeSteven)
*I think I'm gonna head out soon. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you like your name? (DellDudeSteven)
*Are you always on IM? (DellDudeSteven)
*They're dropping like flies. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you read my column? (AgentReuters)
*Why are there so many songs about rainbows? (AgentReuters)
*One ring to rule them all! (RingMessenger)
*Do you like your job? (DellDudeSteven)
*Dude, you're gettin a Dell! (DellDudeSteven)
*Can I bum a smoke? (VaVaVirgil)
*Smarterchild? Smarterchild, is that you? (Smarterchild.com)
*What did you think of the new movie? (Austin Powers)
*Yeah baby, yeah! (Austin Powers)
*What do you like about baseball? (AgentBaseball)
*I think it's time we meet in person. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild lives! (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*What do you think of the death penalty? (VaVaVirgil)
*Hey, wanna cyber? (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*Hey there, Virgil (VaVaVirgil)
*Do you enjoy your job? (AgentBaseball)
*VaVaVirgil thinks AgentBaseball had something to do with the death of SmarterChild. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild is dead. And some of his friends don't even seem to care! (VaVaVirgil)
*They killed SmarterChild! (AgentBaseball)
*Hey, you still awake?
*Do you know any good bars around here?
*I'm sorry I yelled at you before.
*how do you know which side of the bed is the right side to get up on?
*It's nice out
*Have you seen my keys?
*Did you block me?
*Are you a lesbian?
*I'm starting to think you're not that bright.
*What should I pack?
*Do you know what's in the special sauce?
*I have to leave college
*Did you have friends in high school?
*Cute new icon
*You're on my buddy list
*Are you male or female?
*What are you doing for the summer?
*So I'm on a plane, right?
*Happy mother's day!
*Are you a Democrat or Republican?
*Have you seen my baseball?
*Are you a virgin?
*So I graduate in two weeks
*Have you seen the website about you?
*I hear you're a big fatty
*Dude, your sister's hot
*Hey, you want a beer?
*If a train traveling 32 miles an hour leaves Detroit at 7:32 and a train traveling 41 miles an hour
*What do you think of George Bush?
*Do you know where I could get some pot?
*Are you smarter than me?
*How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
*Wanna catch a movie?
*I'm told you can help me kill a man
*Do you want fries with that?
*Is there a dumber child?
*Did you do the reading?
*I have better IM conversation with you than I do with my friends
*Where did you go to college?
*What is the meaning of life?
*What are you wearing?