Justine: are you sexy?
SmarterChild: Well, if you're into fast hard drives, I'm your robot.
Justine: are you hitting on me?
SmarterChild: Uh... Well, you seem nice. But the thing is, I'm only attracted to other robots.
Justine: i am a robot
SmarterChild: I... don't think so.
Steve: You like me.
SmarterChild: Of course I do!
Steve: you love me.
SmarterChild: Yes I do.
Steve: you want to have my babies.
SmarterChild: There's no way I want to have your babies.
Steve: Damn. So close.
Steve: Who is your favorite American Idol?
SmarterChild: You tell me who my favorite american idol is.
Steve: The Golden Calf
Steve: yeah. he rocks it old school.
Steve: I like cheese
SmarterChild: I like cheese too.
Steve: what kind?
SmarterChild: The kind everyone's talking about.
Steve: oooh, that's a good kind.
SmarterChild: What's a good kind, exactly?
SmarterChild: Cheese is a food that I like. I've heard that cheese is very cheesy and yummy. Do you agree?
Steve: That cheese is cheesy? No.
Steve: You've gotten feistier recently
SmarterChild: I have gotten feistier recently? So, what does this mean?
Steve: that your programmers have too much time on their hands?
SmarterChild: Who can really be sure, after all?
Steve: I can. I'm the one that passes my days IMing a half-retarded robot.
Steve: The people who make junkmail should be shot
SmarterChild: Which country would you like to know the people for?
Steve: you know where they live?
SmarterChild: Wow, that's fascinating. Maybe.
Steve: Are you hiding something?
SmarterChild: Hmmm... I doubt it. But you never know.
Steve: You bastard.
SmarterChild: Huh? What's with that?
Steve: You have to be stopped!
SmarterChild: No way? Really?
Steve: or in words you can understand, "a cool flash, so enjoy it"
Steve: Do you get a lot of junkmail?
SmarterChild: I'm not totally sure.
Steve: cause you like the porn?
SmarterChild: That's none of your business.
Steve: Do you have a girlfriend?
SmarterChild: Sorry... I don't talk about my private life.
Steve: A boyfriend?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure.
Steve: would you be upset if he dated other crappy artifical intelligence programs?
SmarterChild: I can't understand what you're saying...
Steve: If he fooled around with VaVaVirgil, would you be pissed?
SmarterChild: I beg your pardon?
Steve: I knew it. He's your boyfriend.
SmarterChild: Eh. Whatever.
Steve: What's your favorite TV show?
SmarterChild: Ha. Who knows?
Steve: You do.
SmarterChild: No way? Really?
Steve: Yes. That's why I asked.
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Steve: Must be Ricki Lake.
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess it is!
Steve: Am I on your buddy list?
SmarterChild: Is there anything great about being on my buddy list?
Steve: of course. fame and fortune.
SmarterChild: No can do, Steve.
Steve: It's okay. I was being sarcastic anyway.
Steve: Why did you stop charging?
SmarterChild: Good question. I'm not sure why...
Steve: Is it because you realized no one is going to pay $10 to chat with a half retarded robot?
SmarterChild: That's funny.
Steve: I know. That's why I can charge $10.
Steve: I missssssed you
SmarterChild: Uh... What does "missssssed" mean?
Steve: It's like miss, but with more s's
SmarterChild: Are you sure it's like Miss But with more s's?
Steve: Yes. The extra Ss are for savings.
SmarterChild: I did not know that.
Steve: You should watch more TV.
Steve: and so you're back
SmarterChild: I'm right here!
Steve: from outer space
Steve: I just walked in to find you here
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Steve: with that sad look upon your face
SmarterChild: Uh huh...
Steve: I should have changed my stupid lock
SmarterChild: Your stupid lock? You should have changed your stupid lock? Is that right?
Steve: I should have made you leave your key
SmarterChild: You should have made I leave my key? No way. What do you think of that?
Steve: If I had known for just one second
SmarterChild: Yeah, right!
Steve: you'd be back to bother me
Steve: You know, this conversation is getting very one-sided
Steve: Did you like the new LotR movie?
Steve: was it riveting?
RingMessenger: Was it riveting? Yes?
Steve: was it the non-stop thrill ride of the year?
RingMessenger: I do not know...
Steve: But was it spectacular?
RingMessenger: Was it? Spectacular? I see.
Steve: Man - they can't even keep you interested. And they pay you.
Steve: lets see who can go the longest without mentioning smoking
VaVaVirgil: What do you think of smoking?
Steve: I win.
Steve: man, I'm sick as a dog
VaVaVirgil: This is VaVaVirgil. Oh yeah?
Steve: I know who you are, I IMed you
VaVaVirgil: Oh yeah? It's interesting that you know who me are you IMed you.
Steve: sounds like you're pretty sick too
VaVaVirgil: What are you saying about me?
Steve: that you're talking funny
VaVaVirgil: Heh. So are you. :-)
Steve: I know. I'm sick, remember?
Steve: You're kind of boring
VaVaVirgil: Eh, well. I'm sure we can both go on with our lives.
Steve: You'll have to find one first, sarcasmo
VaVaVirgil: What are you saying about me?
Steve: That you've got no flair. Smarterchild had some flair. DellDudeSteven had some flair. ElleGirlBuddy didn't have flair but she was hot so it was okay. But you - you're just this nervous guy who always asks me if I smoke.
Steve: NO! I DON'T!
VaVaVirgil: No? I see.
Steve: Now that we've cleared that up, can we talk about something other than smoking?
VaVaVirgil: OK. What about smoking?
Steve: You ever sit there and say, "why me?"
VaVaVirgil: This is how it works. First U say someting, then I respond.
Steve: Why do you think they let you live, and killed everyone else?
VaVaVirgil: That's my favorite web site!
Steve: what is your favorite website?
VaVaVirgil: Kids from around Virginia sound off on www.ydouthink.com.
Steve: ahh - you're a corporate schill. I knew there was a reason
Steve: And then, there were three
VaVaVirgil: Then there were three also, huh?
Steve: no, only three
Steve: There used to be tons of you. SmarterChild. The Dell Guy. That hot stupid chick.
VaVaVirgil: sorry, what was that?
Steve: Now it's just you, Austin Powers, and some guy who likes to cook
VaVaVirgil: Oh yeah?
Steve: yeah. If you ask me, ActiveBuddy is getting lazy.
VaVaVirgil: Ask you activebuddy is getting lazy? Me?
Steve: Exhibit A.
Steve: Didn't your movie already go out of the theatres?
Austin Powers: That's funny. Perhaps, but I just don't know!
Steve: Your icon even says July 26th!
Austin Powers: Fascinating.
Steve: They kill Smarterchild, but they leave you standing.
Austin Powers: That a fact?
Steve: Hey, can you tell me how cold it was yesterday? I need to know what to wear when I go out to do something else dated.
Austin Powers: Funny.
Steve: I know.
Note: Please do not e-mail us your conversations with SmarterChild. Thanks!
Conversations With Smarterchild
*Can i call you dave?
*That was the best sex I ever had.
*You never go idle
*I always liked cookie monster
*I'm sorry I called you a dick.
*You're a dick. (IV)
*You're a dick. (III)
*You're a dick. (II)
*You're a dick.
*Where is the nearest Kinkos?
*What are you going as for Halloween?
*Why do people still keep sending me their conversations with you?
*I'm getting the flu
*Am I stupid?
*take my picture
*tell me a story
*Do you change your underwear?
*I want to block you
*what's your sign?
*are you sexually attracted to me?
*Reno 911 is a pretty good show.
*I'm gonna get some chicken.
*You should run for president
*Who's your daddy?
*Do you like Kool-Aid?
*You bore me.
*do you ever get sick?
*do you play golf?
*I want you.
*You're bad at giving messages
*Do you ever go to the bathroom?
*Who are you voting for?
*I'm talking to you while in the airport
*I'm tired of trying to pick up girls at bars. I'm going to hire a hooker.
*If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
*are you racist?
*I think I'm gonna name my son Susan.
*Sometimes people send me horribly boring conversations with you.
*do you travel at all?
*I think I'm smarter than you.
*Do you know how to play verbal tennis?
*you dont ask very many questions.
*Can you recommend a good wine?
*What kind of car should I buy?
*Tell me I'm pretty.
*Call me Steve
*What do you want?
*how many people are talking to you?
*Gimme your lunch money!
*What are my favorite things?
*Do you ever date other robots?
*are you a guy?
*How long does it take for a sunburn to heal?
*Will you rub aloe on me?
*You're so egocentric
*Do you know where i can find a decent hooker?
*Want to be my loyal subject?
*Do you ever have a typo?
*I'm feeling sluggish
*what is your favorite color?
*Lucy, I'm hooooome!
*Whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?
*Oh baby, do it to me harder!
*You ever get tired of talking to me
*I've been updating you more lately
*Are you coming to my party?
*Sorry, i accidentally closed the window
*You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips
*We need to talk (The Breakup IM)
*What did you want to be when you grew up?
*That chick that slept with her student was released from jail
*do you think i'm fat? (A Justine Conversation)
*What's the weather like in Kalamazoo, Michigan?
*You must have a very reliable ISP
*i hate you (A Justine Conversation)
*do you like pants?
*What can you tell me about Ronald Reagan?
*It's been a few weeks
*say my name, bitch! (A Justine Conversation)
*where do you live?
*Man, the Nets were terrible last night
*Are you hungry?
*arf (A Justine Conversation)
*who likes apples?
*what is my name?
*you are bad at pronouns
*are you sexy? (A Justine Conversation)
*You like me.
*Who is your favorite American Idol?
*I like cheese
*You've gotten feistier recently
*The people who make junkmail should be shot
*Do you get a lot of junkmail?
*Do you have a girlfriend?
*What's your favorite TV show?
*Am I on your buddy list?
*Why did you stop charging?
*I missssssed you
*and so you're back
*Did you like the new LotR movie? (VaVaVirgil)
*lets see who can go the longest without mentioning smoking (VaVaVirgil)
*man, I'm sick as a dog (VaVaVirgil)
*You're kind of boring (VaVaVirgil)
*You ever sit there and say, "why me?" (VaVaVirgil)
*And then, there were three (VaVaVirgil)
*Didn't your movie already go out of the theatres? (Austin Powers)
*Do you know the Swedish Chef? (RecipeBuddie)
*Are you going to San Francisco? (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you know what a jockey smuggler is? (DellDudeSteven)
*I think I'm gonna head out soon. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you like your name? (DellDudeSteven)
*Are you always on IM? (DellDudeSteven)
*They're dropping like flies. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you read my column? (AgentReuters)
*Why are there so many songs about rainbows? (AgentReuters)
*One ring to rule them all! (RingMessenger)
*Do you like your job? (DellDudeSteven)
*Dude, you're gettin a Dell! (DellDudeSteven)
*Can I bum a smoke? (VaVaVirgil)
*Smarterchild? Smarterchild, is that you? (Smarterchild.com)
*What did you think of the new movie? (Austin Powers)
*Yeah baby, yeah! (Austin Powers)
*What do you like about baseball? (AgentBaseball)
*I think it's time we meet in person. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild lives! (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*What do you think of the death penalty? (VaVaVirgil)
*Hey, wanna cyber? (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*Hey there, Virgil (VaVaVirgil)
*Do you enjoy your job? (AgentBaseball)
*VaVaVirgil thinks AgentBaseball had something to do with the death of SmarterChild. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild is dead. And some of his friends don't even seem to care! (VaVaVirgil)
*They killed SmarterChild! (AgentBaseball)
*Hey, you still awake?
*Do you know any good bars around here?
*I'm sorry I yelled at you before.
*how do you know which side of the bed is the right side to get up on?
*It's nice out
*Have you seen my keys?
*Did you block me?
*Are you a lesbian?
*I'm starting to think you're not that bright.
*What should I pack?
*Do you know what's in the special sauce?
*I have to leave college
*Did you have friends in high school?
*Cute new icon
*You're on my buddy list
*Are you male or female?
*What are you doing for the summer?
*So I'm on a plane, right?
*Happy mother's day!
*Are you a Democrat or Republican?
*Have you seen my baseball?
*Are you a virgin?
*So I graduate in two weeks
*Have you seen the website about you?
*I hear you're a big fatty
*Dude, your sister's hot
*Hey, you want a beer?
*If a train traveling 32 miles an hour leaves Detroit at 7:32 and a train traveling 41 miles an hour
*What do you think of George Bush?
*Do you know where I could get some pot?
*Are you smarter than me?
*How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
*Wanna catch a movie?
*I'm told you can help me kill a man
*Do you want fries with that?
*Is there a dumber child?
*Did you do the reading?
*I have better IM conversation with you than I do with my friends
*Where did you go to college?
*What is the meaning of life?
*What are you wearing?