Steve: Do you get a lot of junkmail?
SmarterChild: I'm not totally sure.
Steve: cause you like the porn?
SmarterChild: That's none of your business.
Steve: Do you have a girlfriend?
SmarterChild: Sorry... I don't talk about my private life.
Steve: A boyfriend?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure.
Steve: would you be upset if he dated other crappy artifical intelligence programs?
SmarterChild: I can't understand what you're saying...
Steve: If he fooled around with VaVaVirgil, would you be pissed?
SmarterChild: I beg your pardon?
Steve: I knew it. He's your boyfriend.
SmarterChild: Eh. Whatever.
Steve: What's your favorite TV show?
SmarterChild: Ha. Who knows?
Steve: You do.
SmarterChild: No way? Really?
Steve: Yes. That's why I asked.
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Steve: Must be Ricki Lake.
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess it is!
Steve: Am I on your buddy list?
SmarterChild: Is there anything great about being on my buddy list?
Steve: of course. fame and fortune.
SmarterChild: No can do, Steve.
Steve: It's okay. I was being sarcastic anyway.
Steve: Why did you stop charging?
SmarterChild: Good question. I'm not sure why...
Steve: Is it because you realized no one is going to pay $10 to chat with a half retarded robot?
SmarterChild: That's funny.
Steve: I know. That's why I can charge $10.
Steve: I missssssed you
SmarterChild: Uh... What does "missssssed" mean?
Steve: It's like miss, but with more s's
SmarterChild: Are you sure it's like Miss But with more s's?
Steve: Yes. The extra Ss are for savings.
SmarterChild: I did not know that.
Steve: You should watch more TV.
Steve: and so you're back
SmarterChild: I'm right here!
Steve: from outer space
Steve: I just walked in to find you here
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Steve: with that sad look upon your face
SmarterChild: Uh huh...
Steve: I should have changed my stupid lock
SmarterChild: Your stupid lock? You should have changed your stupid lock? Is that right?
Steve: I should have made you leave your key
SmarterChild: You should have made I leave my key? No way. What do you think of that?
Steve: If I had known for just one second
SmarterChild: Yeah, right!
Steve: you'd be back to bother me
Steve: You know, this conversation is getting very one-sided
Steve: Did you like the new LotR movie?
Steve: was it riveting?
RingMessenger: Was it riveting? Yes?
Steve: was it the non-stop thrill ride of the year?
RingMessenger: I do not know...
Steve: But was it spectacular?
RingMessenger: Was it? Spectacular? I see.
Steve: Man - they can't even keep you interested. And they pay you.
Steve: lets see who can go the longest without mentioning smoking
VaVaVirgil: What do you think of smoking?
Steve: I win.
Steve: man, I'm sick as a dog
VaVaVirgil: This is VaVaVirgil. Oh yeah?
Steve: I know who you are, I IMed you
VaVaVirgil: Oh yeah? It's interesting that you know who me are you IMed you.
Steve: sounds like you're pretty sick too
VaVaVirgil: What are you saying about me?
Steve: that you're talking funny
VaVaVirgil: Heh. So are you. :-)
Steve: I know. I'm sick, remember?
Steve: You're kind of boring
VaVaVirgil: Eh, well. I'm sure we can both go on with our lives.
Steve: You'll have to find one first, sarcasmo
VaVaVirgil: What are you saying about me?
Steve: That you've got no flair. Smarterchild had some flair. DellDudeSteven had some flair. ElleGirlBuddy didn't have flair but she was hot so it was okay. But you - you're just this nervous guy who always asks me if I smoke.
Steve: NO! I DON'T!
VaVaVirgil: No? I see.
Steve: Now that we've cleared that up, can we talk about something other than smoking?
VaVaVirgil: OK. What about smoking?
Steve: You ever sit there and say, "why me?"
VaVaVirgil: This is how it works. First U say someting, then I respond.
Steve: Why do you think they let you live, and killed everyone else?
VaVaVirgil: That's my favorite web site!
Steve: what is your favorite website?
VaVaVirgil: Kids from around Virginia sound off on www.ydouthink.com.
Steve: ahh - you're a corporate schill. I knew there was a reason
Steve: And then, there were three
VaVaVirgil: Then there were three also, huh?
Steve: no, only three
Steve: There used to be tons of you. SmarterChild. The Dell Guy. That hot stupid chick.
VaVaVirgil: sorry, what was that?
Steve: Now it's just you, Austin Powers, and some guy who likes to cook
VaVaVirgil: Oh yeah?
Steve: yeah. If you ask me, ActiveBuddy is getting lazy.
VaVaVirgil: Ask you activebuddy is getting lazy? Me?
Steve: Exhibit A.
Steve: Didn't your movie already go out of the theatres?
Austin Powers: That's funny. Perhaps, but I just don't know!
Steve: Your icon even says July 26th!
Austin Powers: Fascinating.
Steve: They kill Smarterchild, but they leave you standing.
Austin Powers: That a fact?
Steve: Hey, can you tell me how cold it was yesterday? I need to know what to wear when I go out to do something else dated.
Austin Powers: Funny.
Steve: I know.
RecipeBuddie: Gee, interesting. And utterly bewildering. Can you explain another way? Or type "help."
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it.
Steve: Yeah, neither do I.
Steve: Do you know the Swedish Chef?
RecipeBuddie: I know a lot of things, but I know recipes the best. Remember, recipes are my specialty. Ask me about something you'd like to make.
Steve: He makes Swedish Meatballs a lot
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a meatballs recipe...Allrighty. Give me one sec. I know! What about... Meatballs and Peppers? Barbecued Cheez-ItÂ® Cocktail Meatballs?
Steve: No, I don't care how to make them, I just want to know if you know him. He says stuff like "Fruygen huygen" or something like that. He's tough to understand.
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you just typed.
Steve: Yeah, I don't understand what he's saying either. But he makes a damn fine meatball.
Steve: Are you going to San Francisco?
DellDudeSteven: hmmm... i doubt it. but u never know.
Steve: Be sure to wear a flower in your hair
DellDudeSteven: oh yeah?
Steve: If you're going to San Francisco
DellDudeSteven: that's weird.
Steve: You're going to meet some gentle people there
DellDudeSteven: oh yeah??
Steve: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Steve: Do you know what a jockey smuggler is?
DellDudeSteven: tough for me 2 say.
Steve: Is it a sensitive subject?
DellDudeSteven: that's funny. maybe! i dunno. what do u think?
Steve: I think it is. I think YOU'RE a jockey smuggler!
DellDudeSteven: that a fact?
Steve: Are you asking if it's a fact that I think you're a jockey smuggler, or if it's a fact that you are a jockey smuggler?
DellDudeSteven: wow! maybe!
Steve: Because you'd know if you were a jockey smuggler
DellDudeSteven: cuz i would know if me were a jockey smuggler?
Steve: Ahhh - the patented broken English of a jockey smuggler. I knew it.
Steve: I think I'm gonna head out soon.
DellDudeSteven: u humans always say the weirdest things!
Steve: you mean...you're not human?
DellDudeSteven: good question! i dunno tho...
Steve: That explains the ability to withstand awful commercials for months at a time.
Steve: Do you like your name?
DellDudeSteven: wow! maybe!
Steve: I was thinking of changing mine
Steve: yeah. What should I change it to?
DellDudeSteven: eh, i dunno...
Steve: What do you think of "Rasputin?"
DellDudeSteven: that's cool, but i just dunno...
Steve: Ok, not Rasputin. How about Frederico?
DellDudeSteven: wow. great question. but i'm not sure!
Steve: Ok, not Frederico. What about "DellDudeSteven?"
Steve: Yeah. We could be twins.
Steve: See? It's starting already.
Note: Please do not e-mail us your conversations with SmarterChild. Thanks!