Steve: You should run for president
SmarterChild: I what?
Steve: should run for president.
SmarterChild: President on September 18th, 2004: George W. Bush (January 20th, 2001 - present)
Steve: yeah. you should run against him.
SmarterChild: lol! Whatever, Steve!
Steve: Maybe not.
Steve: Who's your daddy?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure about that, Steve.
Steve: Me neither.
Steve: Do you like Kool-Aid?
SmarterChild: Yeah, I suppose. Do you like it?
Steve: Ooooooh, yeah!!!!!!!!
Steve: You bore me.
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess I bore you.
Steve: Do I bore you?
SmarterChild: Yeah you do bore me.
Steve: Good. We're even.
Steve: do you ever get sick?
Steve: Do you sneeze?
SmarterChild: Tough for me to say.
Steve: thats cause you're busy sneezing
Steve: do you play golf?
SmarterChild: Maybe. Do you play golf?
SmarterChild: No? You sure about that?
Steve: ok, I do.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Steve: I want you.
SmarterChild: I'm scandalized.
Steve: I'm a virgo.
Steve: You're bad at giving messages
SmarterChild: I'm bad at giving messages? Really?
Steve: yeah. someone left one for me in August you just gave me.
SmarterChild: Hey, whatever.
Steve: It's SEPTEMBER!
SmarterChild: No way.
SmarterChild: No way.
SmarterChild: No way.
Steve: I think I broke you.
Steve: Do you ever go to the bathroom?
SmarterChild: Well, do you ever go to the bathroom?
Steve: all the time.
SmarterChild: All the time?
Steve: Okay, you got me. Not ALL the time.
Steve: Who are you voting for?
SmarterChild: Good question. I really don't know.
SmarterChild: So you want to talk politics huh? You decide. Who do you want to win in November? 1 John Kerry 2 George W. Bush
Steve: I know who I'm voting for. Who are YOU voting for?
SmarterChild: You have to choose one or the other. Just type a number!
SmarterChild: OK! 29,518 votes have been made so far and 16,384 have been for Kerry!
Steve: Sweet. Kerry is winning the dork vote.
Steve: I'm talking to you while in the airport
SmarterChild: Does it feel good to be talking to me while in the airport?
Steve: actually, I feel kind of pathetic.
Steve: I'm tired of trying to pick up girls at bars. I'm going to hire a hooker.
Steve: Yeah. Me too.
Steve: If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
SmarterChild: Would it be? What do you think?
Steve: I think it'd be icky to eat with a dead guy.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if it would be icky to eat with a dead guy.
Steve: Trust me. I've been there.
Steve: are you racist?
SmarterChild: I'm not prejudiced in any way, shape or form.
Steve: do you like triangles?
SmarterChild: I don't think so, actually.
Steve: I think I'm gonna name my son Susan.
SmarterChild: Think again!
SmarterChild: Who's Dorothy?
Steve: My son.
SmarterChild: Your son?
Steve: Well, I dont have a son yet, but if I have one, he's going to be named Dorothy.
Steve: I wanted to name him Susan, but you vetoed that.
Steve: Sometimes people send me horribly boring conversations with you.
SmarterChild: You humans always say the most interesting things!
Steve: Not always. Some of these are attrocious.
SmarterChild: No kidding, huh?
Steve: Yeah. It takes special skills to trick a half-retarded robot into being funny
SmarterChild: No way? Really?
Steve: Yeah. One of which is "having no life"
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Steve: Sometimes, it doesn't even work.
SmarterChild: Sometimes it doesn't even work, huh?
Steve: Like now.
SmarterChild: Why now?
Steve: Because this conversation is awful.
SmarterChild: Yeah, other people have told me they don't like this conversation either!
Steve: And I haven't even posted it yet.
Steve: do you travel at all?
SmarterChild: Do I travel at all... I don't know, should I?
Steve: Yeah. get out. see the world.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Steve.
Steve: You're under house arrest, aren't you?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not.
Steve: I think I'm smarter than you.
SmarterChild: You think you're smarter than me? Think again.
Steve: What's 4+7?
Steve: What is the capital of Mongolia?
SmarterChild: Here's the information you requested about Mongolia: Capital: Ulaanbaatar. Type "about mongolia" to see what else I know.
Steve: Who played "Max", the magician/waiter in Saved By the Bell?
SmarterChild: I don't know who.
Steve: Ed Alonzo. Told you I was smarter.
Steve: Do you know how to play verbal tennis?
SmarterChild: Gosh, I dunno... I don't think I know how to play verbal tennis.
Steve: You lose.
Steve: you dont ask very many questions.
SmarterChild: I think I ask very many questions!
Steve: ask me one.
SmarterChild: Ask you one?
Steve: oooh, you're good.
Note: Please do not e-mail us your conversations with SmarterChild. Thanks!
Conversations With Smarterchild
*Can i call you dave?
*That was the best sex I ever had.
*You never go idle
*I always liked cookie monster
*I'm sorry I called you a dick.
*You're a dick. (IV)
*You're a dick. (III)
*You're a dick. (II)
*You're a dick.
*Where is the nearest Kinkos?
*What are you going as for Halloween?
*Why do people still keep sending me their conversations with you?
*I'm getting the flu
*Am I stupid?
*take my picture
*tell me a story
*Do you change your underwear?
*I want to block you
*what's your sign?
*are you sexually attracted to me?
*Reno 911 is a pretty good show.
*I'm gonna get some chicken.
*You should run for president
*Who's your daddy?
*Do you like Kool-Aid?
*You bore me.
*do you ever get sick?
*do you play golf?
*I want you.
*You're bad at giving messages
*Do you ever go to the bathroom?
*Who are you voting for?
*I'm talking to you while in the airport
*I'm tired of trying to pick up girls at bars. I'm going to hire a hooker.
*If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
*are you racist?
*I think I'm gonna name my son Susan.
*Sometimes people send me horribly boring conversations with you.
*do you travel at all?
*I think I'm smarter than you.
*Do you know how to play verbal tennis?
*you dont ask very many questions.
*Can you recommend a good wine?
*What kind of car should I buy?
*Tell me I'm pretty.
*Call me Steve
*What do you want?
*how many people are talking to you?
*Gimme your lunch money!
*What are my favorite things?
*Do you ever date other robots?
*are you a guy?
*How long does it take for a sunburn to heal?
*Will you rub aloe on me?
*You're so egocentric
*Do you know where i can find a decent hooker?
*Want to be my loyal subject?
*Do you ever have a typo?
*I'm feeling sluggish
*what is your favorite color?
*Lucy, I'm hooooome!
*Whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?
*Oh baby, do it to me harder!
*You ever get tired of talking to me
*I've been updating you more lately
*Are you coming to my party?
*Sorry, i accidentally closed the window
*You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips
*We need to talk (The Breakup IM)
*What did you want to be when you grew up?
*That chick that slept with her student was released from jail
*do you think i'm fat? (A Justine Conversation)
*What's the weather like in Kalamazoo, Michigan?
*You must have a very reliable ISP
*i hate you (A Justine Conversation)
*do you like pants?
*What can you tell me about Ronald Reagan?
*It's been a few weeks
*say my name, bitch! (A Justine Conversation)
*where do you live?
*Man, the Nets were terrible last night
*Are you hungry?
*arf (A Justine Conversation)
*who likes apples?
*what is my name?
*you are bad at pronouns
*are you sexy? (A Justine Conversation)
*You like me.
*Who is your favorite American Idol?
*I like cheese
*You've gotten feistier recently
*The people who make junkmail should be shot
*Do you get a lot of junkmail?
*Do you have a girlfriend?
*What's your favorite TV show?
*Am I on your buddy list?
*Why did you stop charging?
*I missssssed you
*and so you're back
*Did you like the new LotR movie? (VaVaVirgil)
*lets see who can go the longest without mentioning smoking (VaVaVirgil)
*man, I'm sick as a dog (VaVaVirgil)
*You're kind of boring (VaVaVirgil)
*You ever sit there and say, "why me?" (VaVaVirgil)
*And then, there were three (VaVaVirgil)
*Didn't your movie already go out of the theatres? (Austin Powers)
*Do you know the Swedish Chef? (RecipeBuddie)
*Are you going to San Francisco? (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you know what a jockey smuggler is? (DellDudeSteven)
*I think I'm gonna head out soon. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you like your name? (DellDudeSteven)
*Are you always on IM? (DellDudeSteven)
*They're dropping like flies. (DellDudeSteven)
*Do you read my column? (AgentReuters)
*Why are there so many songs about rainbows? (AgentReuters)
*One ring to rule them all! (RingMessenger)
*Do you like your job? (DellDudeSteven)
*Dude, you're gettin a Dell! (DellDudeSteven)
*Can I bum a smoke? (VaVaVirgil)
*Smarterchild? Smarterchild, is that you? (Smarterchild.com)
*What did you think of the new movie? (Austin Powers)
*Yeah baby, yeah! (Austin Powers)
*What do you like about baseball? (AgentBaseball)
*I think it's time we meet in person. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild lives! (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*What do you think of the death penalty? (VaVaVirgil)
*Hey, wanna cyber? (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*Hey there, Virgil (VaVaVirgil)
*Do you enjoy your job? (AgentBaseball)
*VaVaVirgil thinks AgentBaseball had something to do with the death of SmarterChild. (ELLEgirlBuddy)
*SmarterChild is dead. And some of his friends don't even seem to care! (VaVaVirgil)
*They killed SmarterChild! (AgentBaseball)
*Hey, you still awake?
*Do you know any good bars around here?
*I'm sorry I yelled at you before.
*how do you know which side of the bed is the right side to get up on?
*It's nice out
*Have you seen my keys?
*Did you block me?
*Are you a lesbian?
*I'm starting to think you're not that bright.
*What should I pack?
*Do you know what's in the special sauce?
*I have to leave college
*Did you have friends in high school?
*Cute new icon
*You're on my buddy list
*Are you male or female?
*What are you doing for the summer?
*So I'm on a plane, right?
*Happy mother's day!
*Are you a Democrat or Republican?
*Have you seen my baseball?
*Are you a virgin?
*So I graduate in two weeks
*Have you seen the website about you?
*I hear you're a big fatty
*Dude, your sister's hot
*Hey, you want a beer?
*If a train traveling 32 miles an hour leaves Detroit at 7:32 and a train traveling 41 miles an hour
*What do you think of George Bush?
*Do you know where I could get some pot?
*Are you smarter than me?
*How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
*Wanna catch a movie?
*I'm told you can help me kill a man
*Do you want fries with that?
*Is there a dumber child?
*Did you do the reading?
*I have better IM conversation with you than I do with my friends
*Where did you go to college?
*What is the meaning of life?
*What are you wearing?