THE HATE

Hi Steve,

I just want you to know that i'm "defriending" you. I've never done this before and I initially only approved your friend request because I thought it was funny. After I read one or two of your articles on collegehumor.com I saw how completely not funny you are and how big of a tool you are for actually adding like 200,000 friends on facebook or probably twice that since I would think half of people saw past your pale skin and just denied you.

Thanks for the time,
Neil Russell

Kill yourself.

You're not funny.

MY RESPONSE

Hi Neil,

You initially thought me having a lot of friends on facebook was funny, but now you say it's the very reason I'm a tool. I'm curious as to why I was able to trick you into assuming the joke was funny, and what made you think that you were wrong. And that 200,000 other people must be, too.

You seem to associate my skin tone with how funny I can be, and try to hurt me by mocking it. Aside from the obvious racist undertones, that statement is beyond moronic. If anything, growing up with idiots like you mocking me for being pale gave me a better sense of humor.

You now think, over all, I am not funny because of "one or two" of my articles. Which, by the way, means you read one and you're trying to give yourself a sense of legitimacy by saying it could have been two. Can you not count to two? Where'd we lose you, at one and a half? And If you don't find me funny, that's fine. I'm not for everyone, and I don't wish to be. I would be insulted if someone of your limited intellect enjoyed my comedy.

But most importantly - I will address the crux of your argument. You think that by "defriending me" I will feel punished. Neil, let me explain something. I have 200,000 friends on the facebook, and I get hundreds more each day. Most of them are good people with a great sense of humor, who don't take themselves anywhere near as seriously as you apparently do. Do you really think that I care if I lose the one idiot on my list? If you were kidding about the defriending, please let me know, so I can take care of it myself.

Thanks for the time,
Steve Hofstetter